Before I start let me first dispel any misconceptions regarding the Perverts in Leather Rally, a lot of people seem to have the wrong ideas and with Chinese whispers, aplenty on what goes on at this event the whispers continue to gather momentum. With rumours of everything from public offerings of sexual favours to orgies that would make Queen Semiramis blush.
But in reality, the event is nothing like that, so with my reasons for going torn to shreds, I figured that I would have to find out what it was really all about. Held at the Ukrainian youth camp in Derbyshire, it is a great site with a good sized hall, proper toilets and showers, hard standings and a decent roadway round the site.
One of the first things I noticed was how laid back it was, and no entertainment starting until about 4pm, this allowed people to chill out and relax, or ride out to the Unwanted Mcc bike show down in Burton, and be back in time for the fun to start, which then went on to last all evening. The site was quiet and calm, with no music blasting out, even life around the stalls and bar was at a quieter pace, it was great, sort of like the world slowing down for a while, whilst we tried to catch up with it, for me it was an unusual feeling as I am usually always on the go at rallies trying to keep up, I felt somewhat lost for a while, and I wish more events were organised in this way.
The fun and Frolics started at 4pm ‘ish’ organised by the PIL Correctional Facility led by Mistress Vicky and Shell, first up was the Wet Tshirt game, which is brilliant and I think more rallies should have them, as long as I can do the judging in Braille. Following closely after this was the Wet Y Fronts competition, with a mixture of both willing and unwilling contestants, but I guess that even though the sun was burning my skin, it must have been a bit cold where the lads were, except for Mr ‘I have a big clamp through my willy and I can swing a bag off of it’ which made every everyone cringe. And a note here, if you ever get dragged into the silly games then behave, because if you don’t, you WILL be punished.
Next up was musical clothing which started off with 7 contestants running round the outsides with tights, then pants the other items being thrown in the middle and a fight for the ever decreasing supply of items, then up came the space hopper game, with 3 contestants bouncing there way round the course with myself as the finish line, which was quite scary I can tell you. The games moved inside for Family Fortunes, with the surveys being totally realistic and thoroughly researched prior to the event, now its funny how many people use custard filled wellies and a chandelier for all possible uses, as this seemed to be a popular answer. Now not mentioning any names ‘To Be Sure’ but some people, the cleverest ones in the winning team nonetheless, seem to think that a dildo is a great wedding present along with a femidom being a great sex aid, anyway everyone else knew that the answers were custard filled wellies and a chandelier.
Mistress Vicky and Shell then performed a fantastic showgirl dance routine to All That Jazz from Chicago, which impressed everyone. A fire twirling act followed this, and then the trophies for trikes and bikes etc. completing the early evening’s entertainment.
At this point most people started changing into their costumes, and another misconception here, most people think that the dressing up is all fetish wear, but its not, although a fair bit is, there were a groups dressed as the characters from the wizard of oz, shaun the fatman was dressed as Mr incredible, Pepe was the Zebra from Madagascar, there were the 118 men, a bottle of liqueur, nurses, schoolgirls, jedi’s, Romans, and even little bo peep with her sheep., the evenings music was by Nuclear Minogue who finished off a great rally.
            It was pointed out to me that if it weren’t for Scouse this event probably wouldn’t happen, and everyone wanted me to point out how, grateful they are to him, well done mate.
This rally is a definite for me next year again, and is up there in my have to do list. But if you want to go, then you have to be quick as tickets sell out very very fast, I have officially been Perverted.

Words/Pics Yoda