It started off with a text message from a certain young lady say 'Fucking Wales', followed up by another saying, 'There are parts of the Atlantic that are drier' but being Rufty and Tufty Krammer and I decided that we would go anyway, The journey there was hard, mile after mile of bad weather, the further we got into wales the harder the rain came, water was everywhere, bits were steaming up, everything around us was drenched, the wind picked up and knocked us about a bit. the wipers were swishing the poor little heart out, and at one point we had to open a window - Ba da boom tish. (secretly i was a bit grateful that my trike was in the shop being worked on.- but don't tell anyone cuz i still wanna be rufty and tufty)
Anyway we got there and it wasnt so bad, and we even remembered how to get in, after we got a bit confused last year, so all was well, (now I have to say that we had a very interesting conversation on the way and all I can say it was about Girls and Bottoms, and those that know Krammer will know exactly what it was, so I had best leave it there). which brings me nicely onto the next part - Girls Bottoms what wonderful things they are, and not one to miss a photograph (for purely journalistic reason of course) I did get bullied into taking the odd picture of the fairer sex.
Right I know you want to hear about the bikes (don't you? or shall I continue with the bottoms?), well there were loads of bikes and trikes which girls bottoms could sit on, Ha! see you thought I had moved away from bottoms didn't you.
But really now onto the show, as usual it was spread out over a variety of halls with stalls splattered about around the site in an organised manner, and onto organisation, as usual it was well organised marshall's were keen and eager - well it was saturday and I guess by the time monday comes they will be all bitter and twisted (or is that just how I would be). and can i just say that if you enjoy an event or even dislike parts for that matter it is always nice for organisers to get constructive feedback, so they can either keep certain aspects or even change them if needed, an email only takes seconds to do and a thank you goes a long way.
The First hall we hit was the Trike hall, and there were loads red ones black ones green ones all different colours, see back to trikes owned by boys and trikes owned by girls, and what do girls have? Bottoms yes that's right, girly bottoms. ohh sorry dreaming again, Trikes that right I was talking about trikes, my favorites were A red front engined VW Bus, homebuilt Trike with only the frame being welded by Metal Malarkey everything else was done by the owner, truly beautiful piece of kit, The Trike shop had 'The Dealer' there, an impressive trike with a Diamond cut fins on the engine, a £70 paint job, and a pair of huge Bike tyres on the rear end. my other favorite was an intruder trike, Its hard to get a bike with an axle on the back to look right, but this one is fantastic, a simple clean look and the lines are just right. the rest of the trikes ranged from all out rats to triked goldwings.
Onto the Bike hall, now one thing I personally don't like, is the amount of standard bikes put in the show, so they can get a free ticket, it ruins the idea of it being a show, maybe a category for best standard bike should be added to the show categories?.
The bike covered two halls and again, every type of motorcycle was there even a pink scooter, that Jay would look so fetching on. and as full on custom are my thing, then that's what I will babble on about (I love classics to look at but honestly don't know the first thing about them so even my pretending to know anything about them would be disastrous.) the first thing that caught my eye was a orange Jap chop built by 1304 Custom Cycles it had sort of a retro modern feel about it, and it is definitely a marmite bike, you will either love it or hate it, I loved it. Next up was a fantastic T140 Bobber built by Metal Malarkey, in blue with a chequerd flag paint job, a truly stunning bike indeed.
Vic Jeffords Indian engined Manhattan was there, and is still as amazing as the first time I had saw it (coughs, Warhorse, coughs) and if you see him don't ask him if the seat is uncomfortable, he may just kill you. along side Manhattan was an amazing Revech engined machine, built by Hawg Haven (STEViE please note) a very simple and uncomplicated looking, but obviously neither word can be used to describe the machine, painted in Purple, with the engine as a stressed member with more curves than a girls bottom (see I snuck it in again), a major feat in engineering.
Mick's Ultimate Vision built by Destiny Cycles and painted by Ren and Ink was there in all its glory, i was in awe, the talent and ideas in a bike like this is phenomenal, and whether you like theme bikes or not, you cannot help but admire the genius, I particularly like the front mudguard and the painted little spider on the side of the seat, you see I am observant sometimes.
the bike i was most surprised by was a pale blue Harley chop, with a cards and casino chips them on it, the cards were spread out all over the seat and falling down the offside of the bike, with chips placed in certain location around the bike, and as Blue said even if you took the cards and chips off, it is still an amazing bike, and I have to agree with here totally.
The Kev Harlow built chop with the lady stretched out across the frame, front to back, was there and although its 20 years old, it still going and getting people talking about it, which again leads me back to ladies bottoms, ahhh yes the lovely things that they are, maybe i should get a job with Razzle or penthouse as well, then i can combine my two hobbies, Bikes and Bottoms, hey maybe an idea for a new website even bikerbottoms.com. and I shall leave you with that pleasant thought.

Yoda