Simmer Dim Rally

25th Simmer Dim Rally 2007 the Shetland Tour

The Simmer Dim Rally has always held a kind of mystique in the British rally Calendar as it is the most Northerly Rally in Britain. This makes it special in anyone’s book and provides a challenge that I recommend you should do at least once in life, and so it transpired that Freak, Kerri, Womble, Spike, Santa and yours truly made the effort to do just that.

We headed off on a fine Sunday morning on the first leg of our journey as we planned to spend the night at a campsite in central Scotland and after a couple of hours steady riding we made our first fuel stop at Southwaite services near Carlisle. We had a chat with a mad Scotsman on his way home from the TT via the Farmyard Party and he reckoned we were the mad ones as we had a 14 hour boat ride to look forward to. Anyway, after a steady ride and an encounter with a Cattle Truck (ask Freak about the strange liquid coming from it……..snigger……) we arrived at our Campsite, a beautiful place called Cruachan Farm Caravan and Camping park near Killin in Argyll. www.cruachanfarm.co.uk The site was very well appointed with decent facilities and a restaurant on site that gave us all a huge meal for not a lot of cash. This was a welcome feast that set us up for the next leg of our epic journey to Aberdeen for the ferry the next day. During that night it rained and when we thought it could not rain any harder….it did. It bucketed down. Thank the deity of your choice that the site had a drying room so we managed to get our clothes sorted the next morning and before long; we had packed up and set off for the ferry.

The journey to Aberdeen was a fine ride which, although uneventful, took us through some beautiful countryside before we found the main dual carriageway to Aberdeen. We stopped along the way for a late Breakfast and in no time we found ourselves happily ensconced in the Quarterdeck Pub while we waited to be allowed on the ferry. We had decided to go to the Rally a few days early and a few other folks had the same idea as us and we got to know some them on the ferry across the North Sea including our Interloper, a chap called Pete who plonked himself down next to us in the Bar, said “So this is where everyone’s hiding then?” and that was that. He stayed with us for the duration of the trip. Not the first time a random person has joined us on a trip and probably won’t be the last either. Bloody Weirdo…………..snigger.

Our ferry journey was a decent trip, reasonably calm seas made for an uneventful trip, apart from Womble regurgitating her dinner, and we landed at Lerwick on schedule where we were met by Sheltie, our fellow forum member who lives on Shetland. He was to be our guide for the week and first order of business was Breakfast at the local CO-OP. Cheap, tasty and very welcome. We then headed for our first base at Clickimin Leisure complex that has a campsite attached next to a Loch with a Broch at the far end. http://www.srt.org.uk/clickimin-caravan-and-camp-site.html It was stunningly beautiful and just on the outskirts of town too. We booked in, pitched up and settled in for a rest day before exploring the Islands. I tried to get some sleep but was awoken by the unusually high temperatures that Shetland was enjoying that day. As one local chap put it; “Who would have thought that you could come to Shetland and get a suntan?” and he wasn’t kidding, it was glorious weather and boded well for the next week of fun and frolics on the Islands. The Campsite was excellently appointed with hot showers, laundry and concessionary rates for the leisure Centre and we didn’t take long to get acclimatised to the pace of life on Shetland. They are so laid back they could fall off a floor, everyone we met gave us a warm welcome and pointed out places of interest to visit. Womble played mummy and got some steak for tea and beer to wash it down with and we all chipped in to make a tasty meal before we went to explore the Broch. Considering it’s been there for a thousand years or so, it’s very well looked after and although the local kids were playing on it, they were doing no harm and actually treated the place with respect. As we were wandering round, the bloke who looks after the Broch came to see us and after pointing out the local Bye Laws regarding drinking in public, (naughty Grav) spent a good while with us, answering our questions and generally telling us of what they knew about its history. Top man! We returned to the site and turned in not long after so we would be ready for our exploration the next day.

Day two of our time on the Islands started bright and warm and after Breakfast we headed off on a ride out to explore this wonderful place. I led and we soon headed north out of Lerwick to see what this place had to offer. It felt a bit weird riding the bike with out the luggage on as we had by this time been on the road for several days, but we soon got used to it. I kept heading north on some of the best roads I have ridden, there’s no potholes! If they find a pothole on Shetland, they don’t just fix the hole, they fix the whole stretch of road and boy does it make a difference. The roads infrastructure on Shetland puts everyone else to shame, no exceptions. After 30 miles or so, we came to the end of the road at Toft and boarded a ferry to Yell, the next Island up. The crossing was smooth until when we docked at Yell where Pete, our interloper, had taken his bike off its side stand just as the ferry docked and it almost spat him off. He managed to keep the bike off the floor with the aid of the bonnet of the car next to him. We got him upright again and laughed a bit…..well a lot about it. Yell is a fantastic ride, the main road across the island is almost billiard table smooth, yet has some excellent twisty bits that really challenge your ability. This took us to the north of the island where we caught yet another ferry to the Island of Unst, the most northerly isle in Britain. Here we travelled as far north as you can possibly go by road in Britain to the farm at Skaw, the end of the road. Here we got a surprise as what was parked up, but an old Velocette and after we got onto the beautiful beach, we met its owner. A Geordie bloke on holiday at Saxa Vord, the old RAF base on the island.

Skaw truly is a beautiful place, unspoilt by the urban sprawl I call home and unchanged in many years. Its unspoilt beach and surrounding area are inspiring, totally peaceful and well worth the effort to dip your toe in the Atlantic Ocean. Although I do admit to being a wuss and keeping my boots on…….. On our way back south we visited the most Northerly bar in Britain for a pint of Simmer Dim Ale, brewed on Unst by the Valhalla Brewery, we also got petrol at the most northerly petrol station and visited the most unlikely tourist attraction on the planet, Unst Bus Shelter. The Bus Shelter was first decorated by a young chap who was quite obviously bored and wanted somewhere nice for him and his friends to hang out and a legend was born. He is now around 20 and is proud of his achievement as folks travel from all over the world to see it, have silly photo’s taken and sign the guest book. We weren’t about to break the trend and duly took the photo’s, laughed a lot and signed the book. It’s a sight to behold, and certainly well worth the efforts of the local people who decorate it each spring with a new theme. This years was yellow, a superb choice as it is the colour of Custard, the Sauce of choice for the discerning connoisseur.

We had to head back to the mainland and arrived at the ferry terminus in plenty of time for the return crossing. Unfortunately we were stuck behind an articulated lorry who was allowed on and off ahead of us but that’s where the term stuck kind of gets blurry. The driver was a local boy who not only knew the roads like the back of his hand, but knew how to drive that truck. By feck he could drive that thing! We had a hard time getting past him and only managed it when we found a really long straight and he slowed to allow us past. What a driver. The rest of our trip back to camp was very enjoyable after that and we soon got back after another ferry crossing back to the mainland. After a quick brew, we were met by Sheltie again who took us into town for a Chinese meal at a restaurant above the bus station. The food was delicious and we had a great time, well, I did till I got the bill……….. Bastards……. Our day out had been a great success and the next day we moved up to Vidlin for the rally itself.

The next day saw the arrival of Shep and Bag lady, who had decided to make the rally their honeymoon, awwwwww bless. We packed and checked out at mid-day and headed off to Vidlin with a detour as I wanted to visit Twatt, the amusingly named Shetland town several miles out of our way, but worth a snigger and a photo or two.

The Rally Site itself is situated at Vidlin Village Hall, and the field was pretty full by the time we arrived, but we soon found a spot and pitched up without too much hassle. The Rally was in full swing when we arrived and we somehow managed to miss the Boot Game, which involves a boot full of alcohol that must be consumed and refilled until you hurl, marvellous. Stinkwheel, who arrived before us took part and was doing well until his regurgitative tendencies took over and he was out. The game was finally won after the last two men carried on drinking for a good ten minutes till one passed out, the winner entered re-hab very shortly afterwards. We sat outside for most of the evening, taking in the scenery and listening to the local bands then wandered into the hall for the rest of a very satisfying day.

On Friday morning we prepared ourselves to join the mass ride out to Esha Ness, another area of outstanding natural beauty on Shetlands west coast. There is a lighthouse here and plenty more sea birds too. As it is positioned on Shetlands Atlantic coast, it has had more than it’s fair share of the legendary fierce Atlantic Storms over the years and the evidence of the sheer ferocity of the ocean is scattered across the headland in the form of large boulders, thrust up from the base of the cliffs by powerful surges and gargantuan waves that have been known to wash over the top of the lighthouse. The lighthouse is over 200 feet above the ocean so you can imagine how powerful the storms can be.

After exploring the headland we than headed off on the second leg of our ride out and the most amazing collection of British Bikes I have seen in a long time. They are all in working order and their owner rides them all when he isn’t busy fixing the local fishing boats or even out fishing himself. He has Triumphs, BSA’s and even a Nimbus, a bike I had only heard of but never actually seen until then. The highlight of the collection for me was a BSA and sidecar outfit that brought back memories of my late father in law who rode a similar one back in the fifties and sixties, Mrs Grav shed a tear or two when she saw the photographs of it and for this reason it is my favourite in the collection.

After our meal we had another ride out to Lunna, the original base of the Shetland Bus, the joint British/Norwegian operation to arm the Norwegian resistance during WW2. Lunna House is now a B&B and Lunna Kirk still bears the grave markers of those who made the ultimate sacrifice in defence of the country and freedom. It’s so peaceful there and there’s a memorial plaque in the graveyard dedicated to the bravery of those who fought not only the German occupation, but some truly horrendous seas as they had to operate in winter when there’s not much daylight to conceal their operations from German forces. A truly humbling place and I have a healthy respect for anyone brave enough to works those waters. It’s a part of our history that we don’t learn in England, but the Shetlanders have never forgotten and never will.

Friday night saw us in the marquee getting thoroughly drunk and enjoying ourselves, Kerri and I even got up to dance to the rather splendid band and Kerri got them to play 500 miles which went down brilliantly amongst the rather pickled throng at the front. A top night from what I remember, full of much drinking, much talking bollocks and I eventually found my bed thoroughly shattered.

Saturday started brightly with a good breakfast and a ride out to Sumburgh right on the southern tip of the Island. Our interloper, Pete bade us all farewell as he had to go home early due to work commitments, Shep took the lead and we soon found ourselves nearing Sumburgh airport. The road actually crosses the western end of the new main runway and I must admit to having to fight the urge to turn left onto the runway and gunning the bike as fast as I could. There was an airport security vehicle keeping an eye on things though so a high speed drag race was out of the question. Sumburgh head is just beyond the airport with it’s lighthouse and large colony of seabirds including Puffins, which we quickly named ‘Gay Penguins.’ What amazing creatures they are with their big orange feet and brightly coloured beaks. It was well worth the ride as it was a clear day and we could see Fair Isle to the south, rising out of the ocean as a sentinel for shipping.

We stayed there a while, exploring and taking pictures and I watched a couple of planes coming in to land which is quite a sight as they skirt the headland and turn sharp left before touching down. There’s literally tens of thousands of Guillemots, Gulls, Puffins and the amusingly named Shag which makes the place a magnet for ornithologists. We weren’t lucky enough to see any Whales or Orcas as they have been spotted from Sumburgh and is wasn’t through want of trying. The scenery is quite simply breathtaking and well worth the ride out.

On our way back to the rally we stopped at Quendale Water Mill, no longer in use to mill flour, but kept a s a museum to give an insight of farming life on Shetland, the lifeblood of the Island. It’s well worth a visit and they do a splendid cup of tea too. We soon got back to the Rally site and were just in time for tea, pies where the order of the day and very tasty they were too.

Saturday night saw an organised coach trip to Lerwick for a carnival and more Jarls that you could shake a battle axe at. There were many brightly coloured floats and much collecting of money for local charities, they sure know how to party on Shetland as was evidenced by the packed out pubs. By Eck can they drink. We had another explore and spent some more time with Sheltie before heading back on the coach for more beer and more bands but no dancing as the trip had started to catch up with me and I departed to bed fairly early on, a thoroughly happy chap. In the early hours I had to get up because my bladder was complaining about being full and I was treated to the most amazing sunrise I have ever seen. The experience was made surreal by the sight of several people dancing to the Time Warp at stupid o’clock in the morning in the Village Hall where the late night disco was still in full swing. You don’t get sights like that at 2am here in England shire, oh no siree bob.

Sunday was going home day for the majority of folks and a hearty Sunday lunch was provided before the awards were given out and thank you’s were made. I have to commend the organisers for an outstanding job of hosting the Rally. Everyone had a great time and they put many a club here in blighty to shame with the sheer effort they put in to make sure a great time was had by all. Thank You.

We soon packed up and headed off to Mavis Grind were the North Sea/Atlantic Challenge was being held. It is the one place where you can see the North Sea on one side, and 40 yards away is the Atlantic. The idea being that you drag your boat out of the North Sea, portage it across Mavis Grind and launch it into the Atlantic. They musty have been pretty quick because by the time we arrived, they had done the boat challenge and were firmly ensconced in the beer tent, listening to traditional Shetland Music and drinking the local beer. We spotted a Blacksmith demonstrating his craft and before long, he had roped Spike in to help make a horse shoe. Spike loved it as it involved two of his favourite things; fire and hitting things with a big hammer. He did a damn good job of it too, a lot better than the local lad who had a go before him and the Smith praised his efforts. Good lad spike. He got to keep his horseshoe as a memento of the day and we headed off back to Lerwick and once again camped at Clickimin.

The rest of our time was spent having a last look round and firmly fixing the place in our memories. The only thing left to do was board the ferry on Monday afternoon and head home, this time via Orkney. We learned of the flooding that was besting England on our way out of Lerwick Harbour and we couldn’t believe it as we had only had a short shower or two during our time on Shetland. It was at Orkney that we finally saw darkness after a week of daylight; this brought home the fact that we were headed home and would soon be sleeping in a bed after a week in a tent.

Tuesday morning dawned and after a fairly uneventful ride south, Santa and I got separated from the others as we were both shattered. We finally reunited with Spike and Womble at Southwaite services and after a good natter, I got some sleep before saying goodbye to Santa and making a dash for home, my family and my own bed.

It was well worth making the effort to go to Shetland and I couldn’t have asked for better people to do it with. Not a cross word was spoken and everyone had a fantastic time. I am determined to return next year as it is without doubt the best rally I have ever done, and I have done quite a few over the last 20 years. The journey made it special for me and if anyone wants to make the effort next year, I will definitely be up for it.

Here’s some links to places we visited and places to stay, you don’t have to go the way we did, but I certainly recommend it.

Grav, Freak, Kerri, Spike, Womble, Santa and Pete the Interloper.

www.cruachanfarm.co.uk
www.srt.org.uk/clickimin-caravan-and-camp-site.html
www.saxavord.com/
http://www.valhallabrewery.co.uk/
http://www.unstbusshelter.shetland.co.uk/
http://www.undiscoveredscotland.co.uk/shetland/vidlin/index.html
http://www.quendalemill.shetland.co.uk/
http://www.shetland-heritage.co.uk/shetlandbus/